Healing

So... back where we left it. In the hospital again, but via the ER. PIC line inserted so antibiotics wouldn't destroy my veins like they did with the infection after Leel was born. Even so, and right up to the end, a decidedly green discharge never really went away after that. But, anyway, back on track.

It was time to make some harsh decisions. The most obvious decision was for Brian to take Family Leave. Problem is that means leave without pay. We figured we needed about $3000 that first month to pay our bills and buy essentials. Now the evening I lay on the gurney bemoaning my life in the ER, I had called and dumped the whole emotional package onto my sister, Sherry. She may have called mom after that, I don't know for sure. But mom called and said straight out she'd pay for our expenses if Brian took family leave. What could I do but agree?

I mean we thought of flying this relative or that relative out to help us, but either they had their own familial responsibilities or were simply still in school. We figured we needed two months with Brian home, minimum. We just did not know how long the healing was going to take. A month had already gone by with little to no healing.

So Brian took the time off. Now, in case you are not aware, his taking that time off added another bill we had to pay. The money normally taken out of Brian's check every week to pay for the company provided insurance, we had to pay instead. Thankfully, Brian's parents also helped us monetarily every week. The cash they gave us went straight to groceries and gas for the trips to the Medical Center to get checked by my doctor once a week.

Brian's parents also went so far as to fly his brother in for a few months to help. Unfortunately, there was some miscommunication and misunderstanding so his help did not materialize. Mark did watch the kids for us a couple of times. And he helped his parents watch the kids for us as well. Leel had just turned 3 and Runa was, of course, a growing baby. Being older parents, our kids' grandparents are even older. Our two were more than a handful for them.

So the vast majority of dependence was thrust upon Brian. He cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids, dressed my wound, helped me in the shower, carried everything, and was generally my loving, compassionate, adoring husband through it all.

In the end he only had to take two months off. I wore the wound vac for only one more month after that. Once we figured out how to the dress the wound and get the wound vac to work right, it really started to heal fast. We took extra care with the drape so it touched as little skin as possible. The home health care nurse came by three times a week. Before she would arrive I would take the vac and dressing off, take a shower, use disinfectant soap (given to me to prep for the initial surgery), spray and scrub the area with wound prep, wipe the whole area down with rubbing alcohol to both disinfect and get the old adhesive off, and lay out on my bed with wound draping under me in case there was leaking. I still had issues with infection in any tears or blisters. But the extra care kept it in check so the wound could heal at least.

Turns out I picked up one of those super infections from the hospital. I'll probably carry it for the rest of my life, unfortunately. Course that means I get infection very easy now and the kids are prone as well. It will probably be what kills me in the end.

By mid May I was finally, officially, healed. Well, not healed, healed, but at least the wound was closed. I still had problems with internal pain for another year on occasions of when the kids would get rough or I strained the area over lifting or reaching. Thankfully, it has been almost a year now since I've even had that pain.

The outside remains largely numb, however. I doubt I will ever get feeling back. The scar is wicked, of course. Over 8 inches wide. It looks like a big mouth. I've talked about making it look like a giant zombie mouth with icky teeth and blood for Halloween, but that may be too much for some people. Still, it is a thought.

My poor mother and step dad took a major blow to their retirement for us. This all happened in 2010 so the economy and stock market were still tanked, and they "borrowed" the money from their 401K. The fees and taxes they had to pay in 2011 were astounding! It seems like highway robbery to me. How can they do that to people during a recession who probably need that money to survive? I know Brian's parents took a hit as well for us. Most likely his sister and brother as well. We also got some unexpected help from some of my other relatives as well. I don't think they will ever know ho much that meant to us. We'll never be able to pay them back; although, we will try.

Our friends stepped up as well. Keeping us from going crazy locked up in our apartment and helping out during the first trip to the Hospital the week after Runa was born.

They say you don't know who your real friends and family are until a crisis. We are happy to say everyone passed with flying colors. Thank you all so much! So, so very much!